Change has been a-blowing in the wind for a while now… and this kind of freaks me out. I totally get that things have to change to progress, and I’m not adverse to that. In fact, I like looking back at all of the changes in my life and seeing how each time I have moved onto pastures new the pastures have been good and positive for me. Its the IDEA of change. The idea of something very definite happening that has an undoubted effect on my life and my surroundings. It makes me feel odd, almost apprehensive.
Kings of Macumba ended just after the last Wickerman Festival. That was a pretty big change, but one that we all knew was coming for a while – AB had moved to Derby, MW became ill and also had a baby, D.D’S had moved to Glasgow, EM had moved back to Australia.. and SB… he was due to go to Australia with EM. That is the most imminent change thats about to happen… he is due to leave next Saturday… and tonight we are hosting a leaving party for him. I really hope that it’s a joyous occassion, and not too much of a weepy one. Actually, I’m sure it will be a happy one, if there is one thing we know how to do well – its how to celebrate in style!
This particular change gives me a weird feeling inside.. I think partially because I will miss him, but also because it seems like it is the end of something. Friends come and go in your life gradually – on the other end of the spectrum I have close friends now who I didnt really know a year ago… (and who I love and I’m appreciative of)… but this particular change seems so instant. It also seems like its a pillar of something thats moving, and leaves me wondering who or what is going to fill this space. Looking back I have definitely been in a few circles over the years, and i’m lucky to say that while this circle has rotated and people have gotten on or off the merry go round – those I grew close to are still a large part of my life – even if I don’t see them that often. Speaking of round abouts, I feel like I’m going round in circles here and not getting to the point. The thing is, I’m not sure exactly what the point is.
I guess I feel restless as there is change looming. Instead of focusing on a new beginning, I’m focusing on the ‘end’ of something. I’m pretty sure that this isn’t healthy, so I won’t dwell on it for too long (hopefully). However, I do think its nice to reflect upon things, and just take time to appreciate the good things in life, as well the impact that other people have on your being. I know for a fact that I wouldnt be who I am if I didnt spend time with the lovely people who inspired me, entertained me, put up with me and partied with me.
Friends. You’re all f00king amazing the lot o’ ye’s.
P.S I agree with not taking anyone for granted, but I also like stones. Stones are gallus!