Do you ever get those days when you just cant focus on what you’re supposed to be doing, and your mind is going a million miles a minute thinking about everything BUT work? I feel like that today, although I am thinking about work… just not my current work.
I spend hours thinking about what I truly want to do with my life, what would make me happy? And pay my bills. I’m not creative enough to make money from any artistic endeavour, so that is ruled out. I guess that’s what everyone would love to have – a job where they get paid for doing their hobby, or showcasing their talent. It would still be like work, as to make enough money from it you need to put in the hours, and you’ll only get back what you put in.
Our world is dynamic and diverse – even if we were all super talented in our chosen ‘art’ we all wouldn’t be able to make a living from our talents. Who then, would deliver the tools we needed for our ‘work’. Who would make the paints? Who would deliver the wool to the shops, or to your home? Who would shear the sheep and spin the wool? And who would take care of the vulnerable people in the world who need support, and provide the administrative support needed to support that role?
I’m continuously on a search for a career that means something to me, one that would make me happy, even if it was hard work. Today I’m evaluating all of the possible job roles that I would be suited to, and trying to figure out what is the most achievable. When I think I’ve found something I get excited for a while… then I panic at the thought of change.
Even though I havent put ANY wheels in motion to make the change. I start doubting my abilities, doubting the rationale behind the origins of a new decision. The end result is frustration.. and what I’m feeling now. Demotivated and thoroughly fed up.
I feel like I KNOW that I need to make a change. I’ve been moaning and moping for ages. It’s not fair on me, and it’s not fair on others around me. I know this. Yet why am I still scared to take the plunge, and make a change.
Even if that move is wrong.. it’s a step away from where I am now… and at least I would be able to say ‘ok, that’s not for me…’ and in a round about way be one step closer to finding out what IS for me. Sounds easy. It should be easy.
I need to have a serious think, and make a decision. Ascertain some life goals, and make a plan for how to achieve these goals. I need to be prepared to work hard.
OK. I’ve ranted enough and demonstrated to myself that I know what I need to do to lead a more fulfilling working life. My thinking cap is ON.